FOX SHOCKER: LAURA INGRAHAM PIMPS JESUS

Fox News flack Laura Ingraham has doubled down in her bid to be named Shittiest Human Being Ever.

You may know that in a move shocking even to the liberal--sorry!--standards of the Fox gerontocracy, Ingraham called out  on Twitter seventeen-year-old Parkland survivor David Hogg for not having got into his top pick colleges and then "whining" about it.

There are, of course, a number of problems with this apparent to anyone who has not sold his soul for a TV time slot that enables her to talk to Trump directly while he masturbates.  One is that you shouldn't make fun of a kid in public.  Another is that you shouldn't hurt a kid over a personal disappointment.  A third is that you shouldn't publicly ridicule a kid whose friends were killed in a mass shooting two months ago.  These are things any decent human being knows.  She, obviously, does not.

But what Laura should know is that you shouldn't make fun of anyone who didn't get into his top pick colleges.  Laura went to Dartmouth.  That means she was turned down by Harvard, Yale, and Princeton.  At least.  Probably Columbia too.  Dartmouth is nobody's first choice.  So she should know better.  

But this seventeen year old is no pushover.  Neither is his fourteen year old sister.  They launched a Twitter campaign asking people to boycott the famously made-over right-wing spittle factory's advertisers.

It worked.  So far Nutrish, Johnson & Johnson, Tripadvisor, and Wayfair have pulled their ads.  Companies that will now get my business whenever it's available.

But Safety School alumna Ingraham's response to the Hoggs made things worse.  Much worse.  She proved yet again that the hallmark of a marrow-deep, down in the DNA asshole is the inability to offer a genuine apology.  Here, in pertinent part, is what she said in this afternoon's tweet:

"On reflection, in the spirit of Holy Week, I apologize for any upset or hurt my tweet caused him or any of the brave victims of Parkland." [emphasis added]

Leaving aside for a moment the italicized language, her "apology" is not an acknowledgement of her own dreadful behavior.  She doesn't say, "I apologize for hurting you."  She says, "I apologize if you were hurt."  A form of words, mouthed only because they are expected,  completely unfelt, characteristic of high-functioning sociopaths everywhere.  

But most shocking is the italicized language.  The second-tier Ivy grad holds herself out as a believing Catholic.  So she says her apology, such as it is, is offered not in a genuine spirit of contrition but an act of grace in acknowledgement of the season.  Thus invoking the Passion and Resurrection in furtherance of her frantic effort to claw back advertisers and avoid the bully's ultimate humiliation: ruin at the hands of a couple of picked-on kids.  

Holy Week? Go to hell.